Side stories (3) from the print book

1.

He was about to become a father — Tang Yi-Bai was euphoric every single day.

One time, he and Qi Rui-Feng were discussing the issue of gender. Tang Yi-Bai asked Qi Rui-Feng, "Feng, do you think my child will be a boy or a girl?"

"A boy."

"Why?"

"I hope it's a boy. Because I want to have a daughter, and then I can marry my daughter to your son. Haha!"

Tang Yi-Bai sweatdropped. "This... first, you need to get a wife."

Whether it would be a boy or a girl, the couple were really looking forward to the arrival of their baby. Tang Yi-Bai was extra gentle and careful with Yun Duo, constantly concerned over causing her any discomfort. It wasn't just him — his parents, as well as Yun Duo's parents, and all of the elders were pretty much fussing over Yun Duo. The Tang parents even temporarily moved in to live with them. Not long after, the Yun parents moved in as well. They made such a big deal out of it all that Yun Duo didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

However, their big home had never been more lively.

On New Year's Eve, Tang Yi-Bai returned home and after dinner, he and his wife went for a walk together. During their walk, a car suddenly swerved towards them. Luckily, Tang Yi-Bai had good reflexes and swiftly shielded Yun Duo, pulling her away. Startled, Yun Duo was knocked off-balance and fell to the ground.

The car continued moving forwards to crash into a telephone pole by the side of the road.

The driver did not die from the collision. He staggered out of the car, and then stumbled around — it was clear to see that he was drunk out of his mind.

Tang Yi-Bai had no mind to care about him right now.

Yun Duo's fall had left him in a cold sweat. He quickly squatted down beside her. "Duoduo? Are you hurt?"

"Tang Yi-Bai, I..."

"I'm here, Duoduo. Can you move? I'll take you to the hospital."

"I... I think I'm about to give birth..."

At 10:20pm on December 31st, Yun Duo gave birth to a 4.5-pound boy.

Even though the birth was premature, both mother and child were fortunately safe and sound.

---

2.

The baby was nicknamed "Xiao Yu"{“小鱼”: Little Fish}.

As a newborn, Xiao Yu was a wrinkled bundle, a little repulsive. However, he became cuter and cuter as he grew, and when he turned one years old, he was plump, fair, and adorable, attracting love and attention. Yun Duo posted the completely different before and after photos of him onto the internet at the same time, captioning it with her sincere thoughts: Luckily I didn't just throw him away when I first gave birth to him. o(>﹏<)o

The social media account she posted the photos from was Tang Yi-Bai's side account, the one called "Blossoming Waves". As parents, it was second nature to show off their kids. However, Yun Duo and Tang Yi-Bai did not want to show off their son on their main accounts, afraid of being a nuisance, so they only did it on their side accounts. After all, their side accounts were not for networking.

Yun Duo was happily immersed in showing off her son. At first, it was all still rather normal — she only dressed Xiao Yu up in nice clothes, but things gradually became weirder. She bought all kinds of strange costumes and dressed him up in them. SpongeBob SquarePants, Pleasant Goat, Big Big Wolf, dinosaurs, Tanghulu{糖葫芦: Candied hawthorn. They are like candy kebabs. Look it up to see what they look like!}...and so on, and so on. Cosplaying at least once a day has already become part of Xiao Yu's daily routine. -_-

This side account was very quickly discovered by the shrewd netizens. This was how things unfolded: They first noticed Qi Rui-Feng randomly liking a Weibo post. When they took a closer look at the Weibo, they found that it was an account posting baby pictures, and that the featured baby was crazy cute! ...No, this wasn't the main point. The main point was that there would sometimes be a photobombing husky in the background behind the baby. Hey, wasn't this husky the one belonging to Tang Yi-Bai...

Could it be that this was Tang Yi-Bai's baby?!

Okay, the case was officially solved. The side account was now exposed.

Yun Duo was secretly relieved that she had not said anything bad about her employer on this side account. That had been a wise decision. ~\(≧▽≦)/~

From then on, the number of netizens sneaking in to look at this side account gradually increased. When Yun Duo occasionally stopped posting for a few days, the netizens would even go plea with her for more pictures. Of course, their pleading was not always successful. For instance, there was one time...

Reporter Yun Duo: Stop asking me for pictures. I'm Tang Yi-Bai. ^_^

Netizen: Boohoohoo, PDA again!

Just like that, by the time Xiao Yu began learning how to speak, he already had a large number of loyal fans. There was parent-child variety TV show called "Where Are We Going, Dad?" which was extremely popular. Since Xiao Yu turned 2 years old, the fans were constantly urging Tang Yi-Bai to join the show with Xiao Yu.

The Tang Yi-Bai father and son duo was very popular in their own right, and the production team of the program had already been keeping an eye on them for a very long time... so an agreement was successfully negotiated. In June of that year, when Xiao Yu was 4 and a half, they went on the show "Where Are We Going, Dad?".

These past few years, due to professional reasons, Tang Yi-Bai had not spent much time with his son, and he had never taken his son out on a solo trip. Early in the morning, the filming crew came to pick them up. When Xiao Yu learned that he would have to say goodbye to his mother, he was very, very reluctant. On the way out, Tang Yi-Bai was holding his son. He looked at Yun Duo who had come to the doorway with them to send them off, and he tilted his head to present his cheek, wanting Yun Duo to give him a goodbye kiss. Yun Duo shyly stood up on her tiptoes to do so when Xiao Yu leaned forward cooperatively to hug his mother and gave her a kiss.

Tang Yi-Bai who had been intercepted from getting his kiss: -_-#

---

3.

The location of that episode's shoot was a rural village in Yangshuo County, Guangxi. The small village was surrounded by mountains and rivers, beautiful scenery and fresh air, and the oldest house within the village had centuries of history behind it. Five families would be participating in the filming this time. Besides Tang Yi-Bai, the other dads involved were all stars in the entertainment industry.

The five children involved in order of age were: Dong-Dong, Wei-Wei, Xiao Yu, Liang-Liang, and Le-Le. Among them, Wei-Wei and Le-Le were girls, while the other three were boys.

Tang Yi-Bai and Xiao Yu were sent to a house from the Qing dynasty. The lighting in the house was very dim, and the colours of the house were muted. As Tang Yi-Bai entered the house, he tried to scare his son. "Xiao Yu, do you think there are ghosts here?"

Xiao Yu: "Mama says that ghosts are not real."

Tang Yi-Bai: -_-#

Children who are too calm aren't cute, okay?!

Xiao Yu: "Papa, don't be scared."

"Who's scared...?"

After putting down their luggage and his son, Tang Yi-Bai began to organise their things while Xiao Yu watched him quietly from the bed. Xiao Yu's features were a combination of his parents' highlights. His mouth was like his mother's, naturally pert, while his eyes were like his father's, with exquisitely distinct double-eyelids, upturned corners, and filled with life. Right then, this pair of limpid eyes were following his dad's movements around the room. Whenever he blinked, his thick lashes would sway slightly.

Silent and tranquil, he made a lovely picture. A young lady who was part of the camera crew was so taken by the sight that she finally could not take it anymore. She asked Xiao Yu, "Can I kiss you?"

Xiao Yu looked up at her and when he saw her eager expression, he nodded generously.

The lady bent over and dropped a kiss on his soft and smooth little cheek. Oh, oh, oh, her heart was about to melt...

By the time Tang Yi-Bai was done organising things, it was noon. He and Xiao Yu ate a simple meal and then took a nap before they would participate in the official activities.

The program staff arranged a sports meeting between the dads and the local residents.

The dads were to debut first — they would have to fight over a pomelo with the residents in the water. Each side would send out a representative for each round to stand on a bamboo raft. While maintaining their balance on the bamboo raft, the representatives would have to try and steal the pomelo of the other team with special tools provided by the program staff. At the same time, they had to prevent the other team from stealing their pomelo.

The first dad to play was the famous actor Zhao Ya-Ming. His son, Dong-Dong, was two years older than Xiao Yu. When Dong-Dong saw his father go up, he shouted excitedly, "Papa! Good luck! ! Papa! Good luck! !"

Tang Yi-Bai said to Xiao Yu, "Xiao Yu, you should also cheer for me."

Xiao Yu: "Papa! Good luck! Papa! Good luck!"

Tang Yi-Bai did not know whether to laugh or cry. "It's not my turn yet! Cheer later. Are you calling Uncle Zhao 'papa' now?"

He had barely finished speaking when it was his turn to play... with the cheers of his son, Zhao Ya-Ming lost very quickly.

Xiao Yu saw his dad drifting in the water on the bamboo raft and he began to cheer, "Go, papa, go! Good luck, papa! Papa... fell down..."

While trying to grab the other team's pomelo, Tang Yi-Bai overreached and fell into the water.

The film crew lady from before saw that Xiao Yu was very calm even after witnessing this, almost too calm, so she asked him curiously, "Aren't you afraid, Xiao Yu? Your papa has fallen into the water."

Xiao Yu shook his head.

"Why not?" Because you know your dad can swim?

Xiao Yu replied, "Because papa's a fish."

"..." The lady thought that the little boy was joking, but his solemn manner showed that he was being absolutely serious when he said this. She laughed and said, "If your papa's a fish, then what are you?"

"I'm Xiao Yu{As mentioned earlier, his nickname actually means 'Little Fish'}."

Fine, that was clear, obvious, and irrefutable... the film crew lady could hardly believe that she had lost in a battle of words to a little kid! She asked again, "Then, if your papa's a fish, then why can he stay so long on land? Fish cannot leave the water."

Xiao Yu replied, "Mama said that we have evolved."

The inner thoughts of the film crew lady: This mother of yours really knows how to spin words!

---

4.

At the end of the first round, the superstar dads were completely defeated.

The host of the show then said, "Okay, now we'll be playing a game with the children to catch some little fish. Come over here, kids."

When Xiao Yu heard this, his expression changed and he quickly ran to hide behind Tang Yi-Bai, clenching his little hands tight around Tang Yi-Bai's leg. His strange behaviour caught everyone's attention. Tang Yi-Bai was just as confused. "What's wrong?"

"Papa, they want to catch me!" Xiao Yu was very wary, a little afraid, and tears were pooling up in his eyes.

A stunned silence fell over the crowd for a moment before they abruptly burst out laughing.

The host wiped away his tears of laughter and said, "No, Xiao Yu, listen to me. We're not going to be catching you. We're catching those fish over there. Those little fish that are much, much, much smaller than you. Come and see..."

The game was for the kids to catch fish in a small man-made pool. There was no sand or dirt at all in the pool, and the water was clean and clear. As the crew were afraid that the little kids would not be able to subdue bigger fish, all the fish inside the pool were only about as long as a finger. The rules were that two teams of children would go around catching fish, and the team with the most fish in the end would win.

Xiao Yu had just been the butt of a joke, so now he wanted to work hard and redeem himself. He had inherited the reflexes of his athlete father and had great hand-eye coordination. He caught many fish, finally leading his team to defeat the other team in a resounding victory.

After that, the dads went for a second round of the pomelo game, and lost once again.

Thus, the superstar team lost the sports event with a score of 1:2. The only victory had been earned by the children.

The dads were embarrassed to face their own children...

At the end of the sports meeting, the fathers and their children visited an ecological garden in the village. The ecological garden was very large. All kinds of grain, vegetables, and fruits were grown there, and there were enclosures for chicken, ducks, fish, pigs and other farm animals. The main feature of the ecological garden was that it was green and organic farming, completely pollution-free. The film crew wanted to let the fathers and their children experience rural farming life.

The dads received a mission to help the farmers with their work, while the children were given missions to dig up some wild vegetables, pick mushrooms, and gather food ingredients.

Before the children set off, the host took a basket with many different types of vegetables to teach the children how to spot them. After that, there was also a basket with various types of mushrooms.

The five children were split into two teams. Xiao Yu and Dong-Dong were in one team and would look for the vegetables, while the other 3 kids were in the other team looking for mushrooms.

Xiao Yu was very focused. As soon as they were fully briefed on their mission, he set off with his basket. Knowing what he had to do, he put his full concentration into it.

When Dong-Dong was plucking flowers, Xiao Yu was digging up vegetables.

When Dong-Dong chased butterflies, Xiao Yu was digging up vegetables.

When Dong-Dong was picking grapes, Xiao Yu was digging up vegetables.

...

The film crew lady found it rather amusing. She asked Xiao Yu, "Xiao Yu, do you want some grapes?"

Xiao Yu pursed his lips and nodded, but then looked conflicted. "But I want to dig up vegetables."

At this time, Dong-Dong brought a large bunch of grapes over to Xiao Yu. "Here, for you."

Xiao Yu shook his head. "My hands are dirty."

"Okay, then I'll feed you. My hands aren't dirty." After saying this, Dong-Dong plucked a grape and fed it to Xiao Yu.

"Because you didn't dig up any vegetables." Xiao Yu chewed on the sweet grape but did not forget to scold Dong-Dong a little.

The film crew lady peeked into Xiao Yu's basket (there was no need to look into Dong-Dong's basket), and saw that his basket was filled with wild vegetables. There were no weeds or other grasses at all, showing that Xiao Yu had not made any mistakes. The lady was very surprised. She lifted up one of the vegetables and asked Xiao Yu, "Xiao Yu, what's this?"

"Dandelion."

She put that down and chose another. "And this one?"

"Purslane."

"And this one?"

"Thistle."

The lady questioned Xiao Yu over all of the vegetables in his basket and he named them all correctly.

The adults who had been following the two children were completely stunned. The film crew lady asked, "Have you seen these vegetables before?"

Xiao Yu shook his head.

"So you just learned all of this with the village chief earlier?"

Xiao Yu gave a serious nod.

The lady kissed Xiao Yu. "Xiao Yu is so smart!"

Xiao Yu was a little embarrassed.

Watching Xiao Yu get praised, Dong-Dong looked at Xiao Yu's basket then looked at his own. As if receiving a jolt, he diligently searched for vegetables with Xiao Yu after that.

After digging for a while, Dong-Dong ran over to the river bank. He then stood by the river and shouted at Xiao Yu, "Xiao Yu! There are ducks here! Come see!"

Xiao Yu was also tired by now, so he followed Dong-Dong to the riverside.

There, they not only saw ducks, but also big white duck eggs. The two children collected many eggs before leaving with great satisfaction.

After a while more of digging, they passed by someone carrying a great load of wild vegetables. The two boys traded some duck eggs for lots of vegetables from this uncle passerby, and they were even more satisfied.

---

5.

Xiao Yu returned with the vegetables and duck eggs.

The dads were helping the farmers with their work. Although they weren't much help, they still received some meat and fish as a reward in the end. And so Tang Yi-Bai returned with a chunk of meat.

The father and son duo had a pretty good pile of ingredients.

Still, Tang Yi-Bai was worried. This was because, that evening, the fathers would have to cook dinner with these ingredients on their own... on their own...

Tang Yi-Bai had never stepped foot into a kitchen in all his years — no, he had stepped foot into a kitchen before, strictly speaking, but he had definitely never gone in with the intention to cook. Thus, his culinary skills had always been a null value.

However, he was left with no choice now, and so he could only employ his greatest weapon of mass destruction — Xiao Yu.

Xiao Yu walked out of the kitchen to see the big sister from the filming crew crouched on the ground fiddling with her equipment. He slowly moved closer, approaching her with quiet steps.

The lady looked up and saw Xiao Yu. She smiled and said, "Can I help you with anything, Xiao Yu?"

Xiao Yu hugged her around the neck and kissed her on the cheek. A child's breath, faintly sweet and soft, melted the film crew lady's heart instantly...

"Big sister, can you teach my dad how to cook?"

"Of course!"

The lady answered with such confidence and assurance that Tang Yi-Bai felt greatly relieved. But in fact, she was also just a so-so cook. Of course, at his level, Tang Yi-Bai did not notice.

Under the instruction of a mediocre cook, Tang Yi-Bai finished stir-frying his vegetables. As for the meat, it was still cooking in the pot — after all, it would definitely be cooked with enough time.

He picked up a great bite of the mixed vegetables with his chopsticks and fed it to Xiao Yu.

Xiao Yu compliantly ate it.

Tang Yi-Bai: "Does it taste good?"

Seeing his dad's expression of anticipation, Xiao Yu could not bear to disappoint him. After a moment of internal struggle, he nodded lightly. "Mhm."

"Then have more," said Tang Yi-Bai, lifting yet another bite to his lips.

Xiao Yu: "..."

Tang Yi-Bai: "You must finish this plate today."

Xiao Yu was so horrified by this that his face scrunched up, his cheeks puffed up sadly like he was about to cry. The tears were already pooling up in his eyes... Tang Yi-Bai quickly comforted him. "Ok, ok, daddy's just teasing you. As if I don't know how bad this dish tastes?"

Xiao Yu breathed a sigh of relief.

"Daddy also has things he can't do. Just admit it frankly if you can't do something and then work hard to do it later on."

After waiting for about another half an hour, Tang Yi-Bai served up the meat. The meat had been stewed till it was completely soft and tasted rather bland, but it wasn't unpleasant to eat. And so, he carried a plate of stewed meat and a plate of tossed thistle salad to the lunch table for the group potluck.

During the meal, Xiao Yu and Dong-Dong sat next to each other. After spending an afternoon together, the two had become fast friends. Zhao Ya-Ming had braised a fish, which seemed to be rather tasty. Xiao Yu had eaten all of the fish meat Tang Yi-Bai had carefully deboned and placed into his bowl.

The film crew lady asked Tang Yi-Bai curiously, "Does Xiao Yu ever get weirded out when eating fish? He thinks of himself as a fish, so won't he feel like he's eating his own kind?"

"No, his mother tells him that 'big fishes eat little fishes, and little fishes eat tiny shrimps'. So he believes that it's natural for a bigger fish to eat smaller fish, like the law of the jungle. So he can eat fishes which are smaller than him."

The film crew sister: -_-#

What unassailable logic... also, she suddenly really wished she could meet this goddess of a mother...

After dinner and some play time, Tang Yi-Bai took Xiao Yu back to their little home. He asked Xiao Yu, "How was it like spending time with the other kids today? Did you have fun?"

Xiao Yu: "Not bad."

"Well, it looked to me like you and big brother Dong-Dong were having lots of fun together. And you two were digging up wild vegetables together the whole day too."

Xiao Yu went quiet for a bit and then suddenly said, "I think that... he's a bit childish."

These words coming from a 4-year-old left Tang Yi-Bai momentarily speechless.

The film crew lady asked Tang Yi-Bai, "Does he always talk like this?"

"Mhm, he will sometimes come up with these especially serious sentences, like a mini adult."

The film crew lady: "A classic Capricorn."

That night before bed, the father and son finally had access to a phone again. They called Yun Duo, and when it was Xiao Yu's turn to talk to his mother, he was noticeably more talkative than usual.

Yun Duo: "Did you two have fun today?"

Xiao Yu: "Yes!"

Tang Yi-Bai: Hoho, that's not what you said earlier.

Yun Duo: "What did you all have for dinner?"

Xiao Yu: "Fish, and some grass."

Yun Duo was bemused. "Why would you all be eating grass? Tang Yi-Bai, what kind of lifestyle are you all experiencing over there? Life as a dairy cow?"

"Not grass. Wild vegetables." Tang Yi-Bai hastily explained. He was also the type to become talkative when it came to Yun Duo, so he could not help but start chattering with his wife now, neglecting his son.

Xiao Yu: "Papa, you're so long-winded."

Pffft — Yun Duo laughed out loud.

After ending their phone call with Yun Duo, Tang Yi-Bai asked a question which invited humiliation: "Xiao Yu, me and your mama, who do you love most?"

"Mama." Not even a second of hesitation.

"I knew it." Tang Yi-Bai pretended to be very hurt by this, falling over into the bed with his hand over his chest. After a while, he flipped himself over to look at Xiao Yu, and he smiled and said, "It's fine. After all, I also love your mama the most."

---

Translator's note: And now we have really reached the end. For real. There are no more side stories. Go find something else to read. Hahaha. :p

Thank you all for your patience and the kind comments! ❤️️ Perhaps we will meet again in the next novel I translate. 😉

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